Survivor: Tamora Pierce Edition
by king's-own-knight
Summary: This is based on the reality show Survivor, but with TP's oh so great characters as contestants. R and R!
1. Prologue

Ok, I'm FINALLY back. I know it's been like six months since my last PotC. I could tell you I had an excuse, but that would be a lie. So deal with it. Anyways, this is my version of Survivor Tortall Edition. Not very original but you can shut up about it. Ok? Ok.

Disclaimer: -insert witty remark explaining that I don't own the characters or Survivor here-

The contestants on this season of Survivor, Tamora Pierce Edition will be:

Lady Knight Keladry of Mindalen

Sir Alanna of Pirate's Swoop and Olau

Baron George Cooper of Pirate's Swoop

Sergeant Domitan of Masbolle

Sir Raoul of Goldenlake and Malorie's Peak, Knight Commander of the King's Own

King Jonathan of Conte

Sir Nealan of Queenscove

Alianne(A/N sp?) of Pirate's Swoop

Sir Wyldon of Cavall(hehehehe)

Lady Sandrilene fa Toren

Trisana Chandler

Daja Kisubo

Briar Moss

Duke Roger of Conte

Aly: Why are we all on this island?

Tris: Cause YO FACE!

Alanna: BURN!

Aly: You all suck. I will get my revenge with my totally awesome spy moves! –runs around humming the Mission Impossible theme-

Host: Hello, I am your host for this special edition of Survivor. You have all been randomly selected to be trapped on this island and perform difficult tasks until your friends all stab you in the back and vote you off the island. –smiles over enthusiastically-

Kel: This guy scares me…

Tris: YO MOMMA SCARES ME!

Kel: Okay then…. –backs away slowly-

Host: The first thing we have to do is split into two teams. I want two captains.(A/N I know that's not how they do it on the show!)

Everyone: OH! OH! PICK ME!

Host: Why do you even try? I mean it's pretty obvious that I'm gonna pick Alanna and Kel.

Alanna and Kel: YAY!

Everyone else: -sulks-

Host: okay Alanna picks first, then Kel.

Alanna: GEEEEEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGEEEEEEEEEE!

George: Um… ALLLLLLLLLLLLAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNAAAAAAAAAA

Alanna: No you're on my team idiot.

George: Oh ok.

Kel: -sigh- Neal.

Neal: Yay!

Alanna: That was stupid.

Kel: I know.

Ok anyways the teams:

Kel's Team:

Kel

Neal

Wyldon

Dom

Aly

Daja

Jon

Alanna's Team

Alanna

George

Raoul

Sandry

Tris

Briar

Roger

Ok, do you like it? Please review! I promise I'll update sooner. –bats eyelashes- Flames are welcome. Cya

-king's-own-knight


	2. Day 1

Hey! I have decided I am going to try to update every day, if possible. Isn't that great? Yeah it is. Reviews-

stormrider7- No way! I read yours and I was laughing so hard, it was great. Sorry I didn't review I'm going to do that once I finish writing this chappie. I know it has circle characters I'm gonna change it to Tamora Pierce Edition

Thayet1231- I know I know Alanna would never pick Roger. I put him on her team because I chose Kel's team first and the people who were left were on Alanna's team. Let's just say she wanted him on her team so she could kill him.

princess of the rogues- Yay! Tell your friend thank you for reading it. I'll try to update this fic more than my other ones.

Errant of the Violet Shockers- I considered putting Owen in but I didn't want to put in all of the side characters. Sorry

Shinyobjectslover- Haha I love your sn. I know I should have put him on Kel's team. See my reply to Thayet1231.

peter-pan-equals-luv- Haha I never thought of that! I think I will though. I'll do one chapter for the challenge and one for the voting. Thanks for the idea.

Host: Now that you have divided into teams it is time for the first challenge-

Jon: Oooooh, like the Special K challenge? Oh my god, I like lost 3 dress sizes in two weeks!

Host: Um… no. This will be a COOKING challenge.

Everybody: -stares-

Host: I will give you some ingredients, you make something, and I decide which sucks less.

-Host snaps fingers and ingredients appear-

Host: You will each get 2 bananas, 3 packs of tartar sauce, 1 pepper, a salt shaker, and a hotdog. Good luck.

-host disappears-

Kel: Um.. ok. Suggestions anybody?

-crickets-

Kel: -sigh- fine we'll just pile everything on the hotdog.

Kel's team- Yay!

Alanna: Die food! -slashes the ingredients with her sword and then stomps on them-

Raoul: It's genius Alanna!

Alanna: Um.. of course! Yes, we will make… MUSH!

Jon: - eats Special K-

Dom: Yay! I love mayonnaise! –squeezes tartar sauce onto hotdog-

Daja: That's salad dressing you idiot!

Wyldon: -sigh- I give up on this species.

Kel: Owen stop eating the bananas!

Owen: Never!

Host: -appears- you're not in this story! Begone!

-host and Owen disappear-

Neal: -looks at bananas-

Kel: Don't even think about it.

Roger: DIE ALANNA!

Alanna: Aw.. I love you too Roger. -runs Roger through with her sword-

Host: NO KILLING OTHER CONTESTANTS!

Kel's team's final product is a hotdog with tartar sauce, half a banana, a mashed up pepper, and a ton of salt piled ontop.

Alanna's team made some kind of mush that looks like cat vomit mixed with cheese.

Host: -tastes each food- OH MY GOD WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! –runs around yelling and eating anything to get the flavor out of his mouth- Ok fine, Kel's team wins.

Kel's Team: yay!

Alanna's Team: -grrrrrrrrrr-

I know I haven't even mentioned some of the characters yet but they'll show up later. Please vote for who you want to get voted off Alanna's team when you review. Flames are welcome. Later

-king's-own-knight


	3. Day 2

Well, I'm FINALLY back. I do have an excuse for not updating though. Two, actually.

1. I was on vacation and my grandparents have NO COMPUTER! I don't know how they live….

2. Well, this will probably be my last update until July 9 because I'm completely obsessed with the World Cup. Actually the only reason I'm writing right now is Brazil doesn't play for another hour.

Reviews:

peter-pan-equals-luv- Thanks! Oh yeah I forgot to mention, I'm not really counting the votes, I'm just voting off one of the people you guys suggested.

Thayet1231- Roger will have to come back to life though sadly, or else there would be uneven teams. 

princess of the rogues-  Yay, I'm going to do Trickster's soon (I've been saying that for months, lol)

enchantednight84- Thanks, maybe I will count the votes I don't know(screw the rules, lol)

stormrider7- Yeah you're right he is a little boring so I'll vote him off soon, probably not yet though because he is my favorite character. Thanks for telling me about the rule even though I still won't follow it probably 

daineandnumairareahotcouple- thanks, you'll see who gets voted off hehehe

juicebump88- thanks I do love pointless reviews 

hahaha I wrote all of that yesterday. I started talking to my friend and then the Brazil game was on so I had to get off. Ok on to the story!

……………………………………………………………………………………

Host: Ok I have tallied the votes, and I will tell you who gets voted off… after the break.

Alanna: NEVER!

Host: OK, ok, fine. Roger, you suck so your getting voted off.

George: Um, he's already dead.

Host: Do I look like I care? Ok, on to today's challenge.

Everyone: -groan-

Host: Shut up. In honor of the author's strange obsession with the world cup you will be playing SOCCER!

Everyone: -blink-

Kel: Um, what is this soccer you speak of?

Host: Don't worry you each have 7 players, well Alanna's team has 6 but who cares, and who the hell plays soccer with 7 people? You will each get one guest player.

Sandry: Who?

Host: Hehehehehe I give you… JOSE AND THE FAT KID! -snaps fingers and 2 kids appear-(A/N sorry if nobody knows what I'm talking about but there's this commercial that comes on during the world cup where these little kids are playing soccer with pros)

Host: Ok, Alanna's team gets Jose, Kel's team gets the fat kid. Oh one more thing, -snaps fingers and Alanna's team is wearing blue and yellow and Kel's team is wearing blue and white- There, –throws ball- Play on!

Kel: -kicks ball- wheeeeeee!

Alanna: AHHHHHH! -cuts ball up with sword-

Host: NO! NOT MY PRECIOUS BALL! -cries- Ok here are the rules of the game, kick the ball in the net, don't use your hands, and no killing poor defenseless balls!

Alanna: -kicks ball at Neal-

Neal: Tralalalala-ow! –falls over unconscious-

Jose: -takes ball and scores-

Alanna: Yay! I mean No! I mean Yay! I don't get this freakin game!

Host: Deal with it.

10 minutes later

Host: Ok, everybody's unconscious so I guess that means game over. Oh well, Alanna's team wins 1-0. Yay and all that junk. –sighs-

…………………………………………………………………………………………..

It's kinda short I know and not that funny, . Vote for who you want to get kicked off. Or just review. Whatever.

Until next time!

-king's-own-knight


	4. Day 3

3 in one day? wow that would be amazing. I dunno if I'll finish this today though.. so if you're reading this a day after my ttfn in tortall update and my trickster's update then I didn't finish it. so moving on! Your reviews...

Aly the Spy- gasp! how could you say sumthing like that? Ok so they didn't perform quite as well as usual but they still had a great world cup. people just need 2 realize that just cuz they dont win every time doesn't mean theyre not still the best. Zidane played really good though.. so did kaka'(my fav player lol) ok im gonna stop my tyrannical soccer rant right about now. hehe thnx 4 reviewing

peter-pan-equals-luv- hehe i like it -evil laugh-

AerinAlanna- i no its my favorite commercial like ever. Thanks!

stormrider7- yeah australia's not bad.. I'm so bandwagon liking the num 1 rated team lol. my second favorite team is Trinidad and Tobago though heheh. I'm on a team to and it is more fun to play but it was the off season when I wrote that.

Thayet1231- yay thanks!

juicebump88- no the pointless ones are my favs, so keep writing them and Ill be happy and update more lol

daineandnumairareahotcouple- gald you enjoyed it hehe. I love your quotes story its so funny. I'll look for some of my favs and then review again so you can make a protector quote thing! yay!

Errant of the Violet- thats how I write teehee

KellySquared- hehe that is like a mortal sin to me. Congrats on remembering ppl tho. Roger is the evil dud from the alanna books and wyldon is kel's training master

oooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

Host: Hello poppets!

Kel: does this guy scare anyone else?

Everyone else: Yes

Host: Shut up! I have tallied the votes and the person being voted off is.. -reads paper- what? You guys voted off me?

Everyone: -looks guilty-

Host: Ok briar you are being voted off!

Briar: But I haven't even said anything!

Host: Exactly you're boring the readers.

Briar: Readers I thought this was a tv show?

Jon: What's tv?

Host: DEAL WITH IT! -snaps fingers and briar disappears-

Host: Ok anybody else have a problem?

Everyone: -shakes heads-

Host: good! okay today's challenge is only for Alanna and Neal and Raoul and Kel. We're having a Knight-master v Squire Olympics!

Neal: Yay?

Host: -hits neal with newspaper- no yaying.

Host: Ok so on to the first task. Neal and Kel you will be competing against your former knight-masters. The first challenge is a magic contest.

Neal and Alanna: -do impressive junk-

Kel and Raoul: -look at each other confusedly-

Host: Yeah.. Alanna wins. And you to both suck so you tie!

Kel: Hey no fair!

Host: are you questioning my rule?

Kel: -hides-

Host: Better. the next contest is the wonderfull.. VEGETABLE EATING CONTEST!

Kel: w00t

Neal: I hate you.

Host: -snaps fingers- Let them have broccoli!

Kel: -eats-

Neal: -stares at food-

Host: ok.. that was.. strange... anyway! kel wins and alanna wins.

Neal and Raoul: -sulk-

Kel and Alanna: yay

Host: Okay the final of this challenge will be a tilting challenge!

Kel: That's not fair!

Host: Yes it is now shut up.

Raoul: Yay I win!

Neal: wow I won

Host: Okay adding up the points Kel and Neals team has 2 points and Alanna and Raoul's team has.. 2 points. Goddammit you tied.

4 contestants: teehee

Host: Okay one of you will be voted off from one of your teams tomorrow, now good day.

Kel: But-

Host: I said good day!

ooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo

gah that part was kinda short but o well. The last bit(the good day part) is a rip off Fez from that 70's show, lol. I could use suggestions for the next challenge. Review please!

-king's-own-knight


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